America: Do whatever the fuck you want because America
Does anyone actually follow that ettiquette in England?
Because my understanding of tea ettiquette in England is: OFFER YOUR GUEST TEA AS SOON AS THEY ARRIVE - GIVE THEM THE LARGER MUG, BECAUSE THEN THEY CAN HAVE MORE TEA IN IT, AND MORE TEA IS BETTER - OFFER THEM MORE TEA AS SOON AS THEY HAVE FINISHED THEIR MUG OF TEA, BECAUSE MORE TEA IS BETTER.
IF SOMEONE LOOKS STRESSED, OFFER TO MAKE THEM TEA. IF SOMEONE LOOKS UPSET, OFFER TO MAKE THEM TEA. IF SOMEONE LOOKS TIRED, OFFER TO MAKE THEM TEA. IF SOMEONE HAS JUST COME IN FROM THE RAIN, OFFER TO MAKE THEM TEA. IF SOMEONE HAS JUST RECEIVED BAD NEWS, OFFER TO MAKE THEM TEA. IF YOU ARE WATCHING TV WITH SOMEONE AND THERE IS AN ADBREAK, OFFER TO MAKE THEM TEA. IF YOU ARE MAKING YOURSELF TEA, OFFER TO MAKE EVERYONE ELSE TEA. IF SOMEONE IS NOT CURRENTLY HOLDING A MUG OF TEA, DOUBLE CHECK THAT THAT IS AN INTENTIONAL STATE OF AFFAIRS, AND THEY DO NOT, IN FACT, WANT A CUP OF TEA.
OR JUST THROW IT ALL IN THE HARBOR
ARE YOU TRYING TO START A REVOLUTION!? DON’T THROW THE TEA IN THE HARBOR! HARBOR IS NOT THIRSTY! HARBOR IS NOT STRESSED!JUST THROW IT ALL INTO THE HARBOR
T H R O W I T A L L I N T H E H A R B O R
My dad always used to refer to my mum as “the most beautiful woman in the world” and I always thought that was kind of dumb, because I could look at my mum and know for sure that she was not the most beautiful woman in the world. Not even by far and I always thought that my dad was just saying that to be nice.
And then one day I met the most beautiful woman in the world.